To help this issue, the victim must examine the evidence. The victim makes the assumption that other people are exactly like them: untrustworthy. This is a problem of the victim not believing they are trustworthy themselves. This issue is not only a problem of not trusting others. Let them know you’re there to support them and to listen to them, but not to contribute to their feeling of powerlessness. Stay away from the game of sharing gossip, listening to their stories of manipulation, or engaging with their stories of insecurity. Usually, the victim is someone that is suspicious of others, feels insecure, and is constantly needing to know the latest gossip while playing the victim.Īs an outsider, do not play the game with them. You may have dealt with someone experiencing this kind of powerlessness. In the end, however, he/she will no longer feel that gnawing sense of powerlessness and self-pity that has kept them down for so long. It will take time, practice, learning, failing, and trying over and over. Ultimately, learning to be assertive is not a quick fix. This is a chance for the victim to turn the direction of their life around. What’s the remedy here? A first recommendation is to seek help from a professional psychologist, counselor, or life coach. The victim generally fails to break this pattern and suffers from potential anxiety or depressive disorders. This pattern is detrimental to self-esteem and personal development. The victim’s life will usually involve repeating patterns of submissiveness and passivity. The victim does not truly believe they can control their life, so they struggle to state what they need, desire, or deserve. The victim needs to recognize that freeing others of blame is actually returning all power and self-control back to the victim. To move forward and stop playing the victim, people engaging in this behavior need to see that keeping grudges is only holding them down. A victim will bring up old memories and events in which they were probably legitimately hurt, but they use them as reasons why they can’t make changes to their attitude, their life, or their circumstances in the present. They carry these around like weapons, just in case anyone ever tries to hold them accountable for something. The victim likes to hang onto old grievances and make other people feel bad about their actions. Hold them accountable and ask them to hold themselves accountable, too, in order to get them out of the role of victim. Try to help them make a list of small, achievable steps they can take towards a goal in their life. In order to fix this, the so-called victim needs to see that small behaviors or changes in their attitude can reap big rewards. ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄ The real sticking point here is that the victim will not usually tell you what they plan to do about their lack of progress in life. If you were to ask them why, they would respond by giving you a laundry list of reasons why they are stuck. Usually, a victim will not make progress or advance in their life because they perceive that they are powerless. Victims believe that they are at the mercy of everyone and everything around them. Plus, it will help them avoid similar situations in the future. They may not be completely responsible for what has occurred, but they can always ask if they contributed somehow.Īsking this question invites a person to be responsible, mature, and cooperative. What’s the remedy here? Every circumstance, situation, and event in their life offers the victim an opportunity for growth. Instead, they point the finger to make others feel guilty, or simply ignore their role in perpetuating the problem. When playing the victim, a person will refuse to take responsibility for the circumstance that they are in. Let’s look at 14 signs that someone is playing the victim card and what they need to do instead. Furthermore, people that believe they are victims tend to push friends, family, and coworkers away. Unfortunately, playing the victim rarely gets anybody what they want. How many of us have blamed our little sister or brother for breaking a family heirloom? How many of us have pointed the finger at our co-worker for screwing something up at work? Playing the victim is something many of us have done without even realizing it.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |